I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
