I wish I could punch you in the face.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
