I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
