i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
