He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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