you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
