I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
