party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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