I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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