i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
