Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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