I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick very happy bro
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize