Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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