That's intense
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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