i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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