you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
is that a dick in a sweater?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
