hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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