Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize