This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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