someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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