Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
