i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
