the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
