Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
