Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
