Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
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Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
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It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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