What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
