At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
