batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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