All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
