yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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