we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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