Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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