So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
