My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
