I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize