I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
