So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
