I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
