Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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