I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
