Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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