Me. At least after what I've been through.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
