all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
