His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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