Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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