In the future we'll all be gay
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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