Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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