I CAN MOONWALK!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
