I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
