Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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