6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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