I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
