Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
