Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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