I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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