i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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