Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I smell like Dick and happiness
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
