just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
