oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
