If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I need to calm my uterus...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
