She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
