So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's blow job season.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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