he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Of course I have a pirate flag
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
