just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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