waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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