i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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