New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
