I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
