You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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